Saturday, July 31, 2010


Where is the black hole in our house that sucks up all our pacifiers? We only use pacifiers for one thing, so you'd think we'd be able to keep track of where they are. One of those multi-use Leatherman tools, sure, you use that all over the house and I can understand how you might not know where it was used last. But a pacifier? That only gets used to plug the baby. But now that I'm thinking about it, a pacifier tool as part of a Leatherman would be very handy. I'll ask for one for my birthday. Or maybe I can get a Swiss Army knife with a pacifier as one of the implements. You never know when you might be in the mountains of Helvetica and need to calm a tot.

So the pacifiers disappear, no big deal, right? Just buy more. Yes, but apparently pacifiers are priced somewhere above emeralds (but good news -- below diamonds!) on a per ounce basis. If you do the math on the receipt you can see that I spent $35.85 on pacifiers a few days ago in an attempt to appease the black hole. Thirty-five dollars! That is a lot of money for what is basically a fake thumb.

And yes, if you look at the total at the bottom of the receipt, you can see that I spent $170 at Walgreens, and a lot of the amount (other than pacifiers) was for Vitamin D for mama and baby. That's somewhat aggravating considering the sun just gives Vitamin D away for free. But since I don't work in the fields all day, and Baby W's still on the young side for a job detassling corn, Vitamin D comes in a pill form for us.

When David lived in LA his car got stolen, and the police told him that his car was in Mexico by the time he even noticed it was gone. I'm wondering if that's what happened to our pacifiers. Right now they're on a truck bound for Tijuana. They're certainly pricey enough to support a black market. Mexicans, please don't steal our pacifiers!  Leave that job for the Swiss.
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