Tuesday, August 3, 2010


Stella asks "Why?" a lot, and I'm not great at giving her answers. It's not that I don't want to, but I just don't know what to say.

Me: "Stella, let's --"
Stella: "Why?  Why, mama?"
Me: "Why what?"
Stella: "Why let's?"
Me: "Is it time to go to work yet?"

My all-purpose answer after a few Whys is to look pensive and say, "I wonder." David struggles to give complete and thorough answers to every Why and soon gets into matters involving basic social norms, complex science, or free will. I'm not going to discuss free will with someone who thinks it's funny to put underwear on her head.

When Stella asks science related questions, there's generally a lot of hemming on our part and then an answer that's kiiiiinda probably bullshit. I did actually look up whether caterpillars have lungs (no, but they have holes that they use to take in air).  When pressed to explain what thunder is, I told Stella it was akin to the zzzZAP! sound that accompanies getting a shock. I suspect this isn't true, but it's what my parents told me when I was Stella's age, and nothing says "I love you" like passing down misinformation to the next generation.

Stella is very assertive...sure of what she wants...able to direct others...aw heck, she's just plain bossy these days. She's downright imperious. There is one right way to do something in her mind and ten billion wrong ways, and it goes without saying that YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. I at least manage to occasionally perform a task up to Her Majesty's high standards, but David is not so lucky. On the afternoons when he has the kids and I'm at work, I come home to find him slumped on the sofa, glasses askew, being bossed mercilessly. He is always happy to see me.

It's particularly tough on David because Baby W has been on a sudden bottle strike, as he apparently thinks the bottle is filled with angry bees instead of mama milk. This means David's solo experience with Baby W is of an  hungry, angry, no, FURIOUS wailing baby, while my experience is a sweet cuddly baby who's happy to see me and gulps all the milk down then passes out. Baby W, I don't think you're helping my campaign for Kid #3.

If Baby W doesn't start taking the bottle soon, I'll sic Stella on him. She'll set him straight. And then put underwear on his head.

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