Right, so I'm feeling a bit defensive about admitting to having a National Geographic gift catalog in the house. I swear, it was addressed to Mr. Reads-the-Economist and misdelivered to us. I do love museum gift catalogs, though -- I like looking at the picture of the Nepalese Travel Jacket and thinking how I would look stepping off the plane in Katmandu, mentally skipping over the fact that the most exotic place I would likely wear the jacket would be the gyro place on State Street. I think the last time somebody Greek worked or even set foot in that place was in the mid 1990s but dang, they make a good gyro, although I might stay away because I don't want to get tzatziki sauce on my good Nepalese jacket. (As an aside -- as if this whole thing weren't an aside -- I know how to spell tzatziki because I used to wait tables at a different Greek restaurant that did not serve gyros but did serve a cheese appetizer that wait staff flamed at the table. I had perpetually singed eyebrows for all of 1997. Opa!)
Amazon.com for those low-class remote-controlled tarantulas, and one person complained that the "nasty plastic hair" on the cheap tarantula "smelled toxic," and another noted that the motor on the tarantula was too loud and thus fooled nobody. See? I bet those suckers are ruing the day they bought the Kia of remote-controlled tarantulas instead of the Caddy.
Real tarantulas only cost about $25, but I never heard of any real tarantulas winning any awards. God only knows what their hair smells like.
I would also like to know who gives out this award. The National Association of Creepy Toy Manufacturers? The Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences? The Coalition for Natural-Smelling Tarantula Hair? Please, just let it not be Ranger Rick.