Thursday, September 2, 2010


Traditionally I've spent Labor Day weekend working to organize a run/walk that raises money for the organization I used to work for. I'm taking a well-deserved year off from helping this year, and it feels great. The hardest part was always scaring up enough volunteers to be out on the course during the event. I certainly hit up everyone I knew to volunteer, and it got to the point where if I saw someone at the grocery store who seemed halfway responsible I asked them too. ("You, sir! By the peaches! Show up tomorrow at the Vilas Park Shelter at 8 AM!")

My friends knew to not make eye contact with me for most of August, as I would launch myself at their ankles and not let go until they promised to volunteer. They'd have to drag me around to wherever they were going and they would usually just agree to volunteer to get rid of me. ("I did -- oof --have other plans -- hey, don't hold my ankle so tight! -- but I'll cancel them and volunteer instead.")

Another tactic was to imply that people who did not volunteer were refusing to help child abuse victims in need, since the run/walk raised funds to help an organization that provided services to these victims. Like this:
Guy at Grocery Store by the Peaches: "I'd love to help out, but we're hosting a cookout and I can't come."
Me: "Oh, so you hate child abuse victims? As if these kids haven't suffered enough, you kick them when they are down."
Guy: "No, it's just that I --"
Me: "You probably are a child abuser yourself."
Guy: "What? No, I -- oof! Hey, let go of my ankle!"

Good weather helped the event raise more money, but since we had the sponsorship funding up front and a lot of participants pre-registered, the run/walk came out in the black even if there was a torrential downpour. In fact I used to fantasize about a tornado carrying away the park shelter half an hour before the event started. I would stare grimly at the structure being blown away but secretly I would be rejoicing because hey, now we can't have the event and we already have the money!

Although what if the park shelter blew to Oz? Would I have to organize a run/walk there? Problem is, I'm not sure munchkins even have ankles.


  1. So, are you going with one-word titles on accident, or is it a theme? I mean, like, a theme "I wonder if anyone will notice" type theme or "crap, I gotta name it SOMEthing" theme?

  2. I would call it an accidental theme. It's easier to come up with a title when it's only one word.