Wednesday, November 3, 2010


Stella now has a whole bucketful of candy from Halloween, which means she thinks about nothing else all day. Unfortunately it also means that neither David nor I think of anything else all day, since hey, now there's a whole bucketful of candy in the house. I am very grateful that Stella has only a limited grasp of quantities, and at a glance can't tell the difference between a orange plastic pumpkin that has 100 pieces of candy and one that has 25 pieces of candy, and inquire as to the fate of the other three-quarters of the pieces.

Do not be confused.
This is from Halloween 2008
This inability to understand quantities extends to her own candy consumption. On Halloween, when David asked Stella how many pieces of candy she had eaten, she said, "Three...or seven....or twelve," which sounds like something a drunk slurs to a police officer who asks him how many beers he had before driving.

Stella got lots of tootsie rolls when she went trick-or-treating, and I continue to have nothing but disdain for tootsie rolls, which I suspect are not candy at all but instead some type of petroleum product, suitable for stuffing in the cracks in your house to help with insulation. The only other use I can think of for them is as filler for sandbags in case of a flood, or possibly rodent repellent. You know how really bad cheese like Velveeta, if you read the fine print, doesn't actually call itself cheese at all but instead is "cheese food?" Tootsie Rolls should be marketed as "candy food," since their relation to actual candy is very weak.

Stella's official Halloween 2010 costume was a green M&M, but she loved her costume from 2009 so much that at the last minute she switched and went as a beaver instead. Both David and I were secretly hoping she would use both costumes and go as a beaver dressed as a green M&M, because a kid dressed like that would be sure to pull down some quality chocolate, and of course mom and dad take a hefty commission right off the top of the haul. She didn't think that costume idea was nearly as funny as we did, though. Likewise, when people asked us what Baby W's costume was -- he was looking very plain in his stroller -- we replied that he was going as an 18 month old, which is a funny joke because he's only six months old but he's very large! Get it? GET IT? Well, I laughed.

Stella also got a big kick out of handing out candy. She sat on the front porch with a bowl of chocolates waiting for kids to come up the walk. If trick-or-treaters didn't approach fast enough, she chased after them. As always, I faced a dilemma about whether to buy candy that we like or candy that we don't like. My logic is that since we are going to wind up eating a lot of it anyway, we might as well get the good stuff. So I got three bags of Dove dark chocolate pieces, which was either very, very smart or the stupidest thing I've ever done. The fact that I had to eat lunch yesterday at 10:30 AM in an attempt to moderate my vicious sugar shakes from eating 37 pieces of chocolate before breakfast makes me think it's the latter.

And what's with the inspirational sayings printed these days on the insides of wrappers for fancy chocolate? I do not need any inspiration to eat more chocolate.

Stella's stash of candy is already starting to dwindle, although her interest in it is not. Now that Halloween is past, we are looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas. This fall weather has been very mild, but winter is coming, with opportunities for sledding and skating. Wisconsin winters are always tough, but this year we are going to stay especially cozy, with the house kept warm by a thick layer of tootsie rolls.

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