Sunday, January 2, 2011


Baby W has promised to enter
a 12-step program in 2011.
2010 was a big year. I had a baby, got a new job, started a blog, and learned to sew. Some of those accomplishments turned out better than others. For example, I have not had to rip out a seam on the baby. (Yet.)

Actually Baby W is just about perfect and so is Stella. This reminds me of when I was pregnant with Baby #1, when we decided to undertake a huge house construction project. Apparently the significant financial and emotional stress that comes along with having a baby just wasn't enough and we needed more, more, more! David was responsible for managing the construction and I was responsible for managing growing the baby, and after our respective projects were completed, I enjoyed pointing out to him that there weren't any tussles about what was and wasn't in the contract with MY PROJECT. Yes, my project came in late and I will admit it was significantly over budget, but all the parts worked perfectly, unlike the new overhead light in the bathroom which is definitely not centered.

In the last days of my pregnancy with Stella, our bathroom was torn up and accessible only by going up a flight of partially finished stairs. I didn't feel it was safe for me to be going up and down the stairs for my multiple middle of the night bathroom trips, so I set up a five gallon bucket in our bedroom that I emptied each morning. (If I ever inadvertently blow you off or hurt your feelings, you can get revenge by picturing me peeing in a white bucket at 9+ plus months pregnant.) But of course when labor started I didn't get a chance to empty the bucket, and the birth was complicated which meant David didn't return home for several days. As a result, we brought our new baby home to a house reeking to the rafters of urine. To this day, David and I still have construction-related trauma to the point where any small house project sets off our PTSD. Even changing a light bulb brings on the shakes and bad flashbacks.

Squeezing the bejesus out of
Baby W helps teach Stella important
hand-eye coordination skills.
Back to the New Year. To celebrate, I engaged in activities that have been handed down by generations of my generic white-people ethnic group: I stayed home and fed mashed turnips to the baby and most definitely did not stay up to midnight. I explained the idea of a resolution to Stella -- something you want to improve about yourself, or do better, or maybe a new experience you want to try out -- and asked if she had any resolutions, barely refraining from suggesting that she resolve to stop treating Walter like one of those silicon toys that you squeeze to make the eyeballs pop out on springs. She said her resolution in 2011 was "to wiggle her finger." Ah, but a man's reach must exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?

In 2011, my resolutions are to keep raising two beautiful, loving children; to continue to learn and improve at my job; and to keep valuing David as a partner and co-parent in addition to being the only person in the household who can reach the very top cabinets in the kitchen. (Seriously, why would you build kitchen cabinets seven feet off the ground? Perhaps in the 1950s kitchens were ruled by a race of giganto Amazon women lost to human history, except through the occasional fossilized apron identified through carbon-dating.) Those resolutions, while worthy, all involve continuing doing what I did in 2010. So here's something new for 2011: this is the year I resolve to get the pee smell out of the bedroom. 


  1. so i've been remiss lately and am just keeping up. i must remark that pee smell in the bedroom is definitely bad, but sour milk smell in the car might be worse. when i worked at the grocery store we got to take home the expired dairy products. my coworker did so one day and somehow the milk slipped under the passenger seat. and since she didn't 'need' or pay for the milk, she forget she brought it home. then weeks later, the smell reminded her, as well as all of us that got rides from her (once, only, lemme tell ya).

    another coworker helped her remove the seat in order to clean under there... but as we all know car carpet is really, really attached snuggly. and the smell remained literally for years. not so bad in the fall. but winter-- yes, due to blasting the heat, and summer--yes. i've lost touch with her, but there was discussion of selling the car due to smell. but of course the time of year you'd lean toward selling is also the time NO ONE would buy. wonder how that ever sorted out...

  2. Yikes! Not nearly so bad -- but way more common in our car -- is the growing sense/fear that somewhere, somewhere, there is a banana peel in the car.