Thursday, August 4, 2011


I think it's time I gave an update on my gymnastics class! Every week, I've been trekking out to the other side of town, which in itself is a measure of my devotion. Most of the time I see very little reason to leave the six-block radius surrounding my house. On the rare occasion I do head over to the west side, I make sure to have my papers all in order. Just in case they try to deport me.

Fortunately, we have a hybrid,
which runs on japanese beetles for fuel
Since I normally stick so close to home, the majority of the miles I drive in the car are not to reach some far-off destination, but to get the baby to take a nap. This means that I am not very sensitive to fluctuations in the price of gas. In economic terms, my demand for gas is extremely inelastic, and I suspect that parents all over the country are in the same circumstances. This means that if OPEC really, really wanted to screw with us, they would jack the price of oil sky high and all the parents would have no choice but to pay it, because you know, given a choice between dealing with terrorists or a tired baby who's missed his nap, I would choose the terrorists every time. 

By the way, you should never negotiate with tired babies, even if they are heads of state of small-to-midsize nations in the Middle East. It just encourages them.

Anyway, I've been single-handedly wrecking the environment (aka driving over to the other side of town once a week) for my gymnastics class. Here are some skills we've worked on in the class: forward roll (PLEASE NOTE this is NOT called a somersault; if I slip up and call it a somersault in class then everyone turns to me with a puzzled look on their faces as if to say "What is this somersault of which you speak?" when c'mon, they all know what I'm talking about), backward roll, handstand, bridge, and cartwheel. We've worked on the uneven bars, the balance beams, and the trampoline. Despite all this, I am still waiting for gymnastics class to transform me into a 4'10" Bulgarian pre-teen named Olga. No luck so far.

In gymnastics class, we've also worked on our salute, which is the very first thing you do as part of a floor routine, where you stick your arms up in the air before you so much as start your first double backflip aerial roundoff (or in my case, a somersault). I think you are supposed to have a haughty impression on your face when you do your salute. I'm still working on it, but I've got the eyebrow part down cold.

Now THIS is the kind of bridge I
could do 50x or 100x a day
During our class, I watched some of the adults do back walkovers, which seems like a skill that is both quite impressive and yet still seems like something I could in theory work my way towards doing. Most of these skills can be broken down into their components, which you can master one at a time, so I went online to figure out how to break down back walkovers into their components. One site, which had some helpful suggestions, suggested I start with doing 50 to 100 bridges a day as a way to get good at back walkovers. That gave me a good laugh! I don't do 50 to 100 repetitions of anything a day, unless you count wiping up the floor under Baby W's high chair, which I do have to admit I have gotten really good at doing. Perhaps I'll add that to my floor routine. 

Gymnastics class is almost over. It's been so much fun, though, that I'm definitely signing up again. I think I've convinced my sister to sign up as well. Until then, I'm going to practice my haughty looks, 50 to 100 times a day. 

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