Baby W made it his goal to take one bite (and only one bite) out of every single apple in the entire orchard. And then roll them in dirt.
Last year when we made our annual apple-picking pilgrimage, I picked a whole shit-ton of apples, and then made applesauce. Which no one would eat but me. I like applesauce, and I like the applesauce I made, but I learned my lesson. This year there is no way that I am going to cook up, puree, and then can a whole bunch of apples when the stuff from the store tastes just as good. I just have no gumption in that area. If I lived on the frontier, where you have to do things like can applesauce as a matter of survival, I would probably starve. And I would probably starve with cold feet, because rather than shearing the sheep, spinning the yarn, and darning my socks I would probably just try to buy new ones on Amazon, which of course didn't exist yet.
Apple picking was especially appropriate because Stella is in the midst of unit in school that is all about apples. This means she counts apples, she practices writing the word apple, and she learns about the uses of apple. Stella's teacher talked about how apples are sometimes peeled, so now Stella is always trying me to get to peel our apples at home. And I refuse to peel apples. First, it's morally wrong to peel apples. Right? It's like cutting the crusts off of sandwiches. You just don't do that unless you lack a serious ethical compass. Second, WE'RE IN A RECESSION. EAT YOUR APPLE PEELS.
By the way, Stella brought home a little "I Can Read" book from kindergarten, that she "made" by stapling together pre-printed pages. One page proclaimed, "I can read letters," and it had a bunch of letters, and another page said "I can read numbers," with some numbers surrounding it. And another page said "I can read signs," and it had a KMart logo and a McDonald's logo. Gee, thanks, school! You just undid the five years of work I put in into making sure that Stella was one of just 17 children worldwide who did not know the McDonald's logo! I worked my butt off to shield Stella from one of the world's most omnipresent symbols, representing the corporate promotion of unhealthy habits, and then kindergarten goes and blows it in the first week. Plus, KMart? Look, if we're going to brainwash Stella by exposing her to corporate logos in the educational setting, can we at least get someplace halfway classy? How about Macy's?
Anyway, I had a great time apple picking with my two lovely children, at least one of whom does not recognize the McDonald's logo. The orchard also offered horse-drawn hayrides, which we didn't have time for this weekend. We also didn't have time to take advantage of the pumpkin picking. But I'm thinking that next weekend we can head out to another farm for more fall harvest fun. And this time I'm definitely bringing the baby kittens.