Changing the subject: I call bullshit on this whole recession thing. Jobs deficit, my finely muscled, curvaceous yet firm, yielding yet sculpted white ass. If so many people are out of work, then why can't I find anyone to take care of my children? Once again, we're looking for someone to provide child care, and I'm disheartened to be revisiting this process once again. Right now, we're relying in large part on students, who have limited availability because -- and this is really frustrating -- they apparently want to go to class now and then. I thought we got rid of the whole "university" concept in the budget! Apparently we short-sightedly retained some fragment of the state's higher education system. How are we supposed to create jobs if we don't get these academic types out of the classroom and into the working world, stat?
The other person we rely on for child care is Maggie, who lucky for us is not a student. She has an infectious laugh, is just all-around awesome, and the kids just adore her. On a related note, David adores Maggie's husband, in part for his fabulous musical skills. Since the kids adore Maggie, and David adores Maggie's husband, I guess I'm going to have to find somebody else in Maggie's family to adore -- maybe her cat, for its advanced hairball hacking abilities.
As much as we would love to have Maggie take care of the kids all the time, we need somebody else to help out as well. And that's where things get tough, tougher than you would think in this economy. We're offering $13/hr to provide child care, yet I'm having difficulty finding suitable candidates! I'm not picky -- my minimum requirements include only a PhD in child development (no post-docs required!), 20 or more years working in a health care facility, and that a panel of theologians has recommended the candidate for canonization or at the very least beatification. It would also be helpful if he or she knows how to make play-dough.
So we're interviewing candidates for child care and revising work schedules once again. Keep your eye out for anyone who might be interested, okay? And in return, I promise to post pictures of any more pornographic vegetables I find.