Saturday, March 24, 2012

Prepare for Bed

News flash! Kids are cute when they are asleep. Here's one little angel who just went off to bed:


I also took a picture of Stella sleeping, but it seemed a little weird to post it. A picture of a sleeping one-year-old is cute, but a picture of sleeping six-year-old  brings all the pedophiles out of the woodwork.

Which reminds me! Did you see that Dick Cheney had a heart transplant?

Every night, I get the kids ready for bed and then lie with them until they fall asleep. This means that I usually lie in the dark, on the bed, for about half an hour while my offspring drift off to Lullaby Land. After they go to sleep, in theory I get back up and install low-flow shower heads in our bathrooms, muck out the stables on our five-acre estate, and learn to weld -- or something like that. In truth, I have no idea what productive things I would do if I got back up after I put the kids to bed because it almost never happens. I'm lying down for 30 minutes! In the dark, for cripe's sake! Show me someone who can stay awake through that, and I will show you someone who never dozed off during their 8:30 AM Russian History class. And that person simply doesn't exist.

Anyhow, I often awake with a snort about 11:30 PM, still dressed in my work clothes. Heck, sometimes I even wake up at 6 AM the next morning, still dressed in my work clothes. This isn't as bad as it sounds, because when it is time to go to work, I'm already all set. In my well-worn work clothes. Don't worry, I change my underwear before I head back to the office.

If I were smart, I would acknowledge that I often go to bed when the kids do, and I would be all ready for bed when I lie down with the kids, with my pajamas on and my teeth brushed. But I can't bring myself to face the hard reality that I'm unlikely to get back up and be productive. So instead, I go to bed unprepared, and wind up with unbrushed teeth and wrinkled clothes -- just the same way that many teens who participate in abstinence-only sex education don't want to acknowledge that they may engage in sexual activity, and then wind up unprepared when they actually do have sex. And some of those teens wind up with a lot worse than unbrushed teeth. Although, to be fair, my unbrushed teeth are pretty bad.

The kids and I sleep on a giant futon mattress on the bedroom floor. This works great for cuddling with the kids and nursing Baby W when he wakes up at night. In theory, sleeping on a futon on the floor is not all that comfortable, but what do I know? I fall asleep after 15 seconds of lying down in the dark in my work clothes, so it doesn't seem to be negatively affecting my sleep too much. David gets the "real" bed to himself, with a luxurious queen-sized mattress and box springs. This might seem unfair, but remember that...no, I guess it really is unfair.

Despite everything, I have to say that our sleeping arrangement is working out pretty well for us. It's a little unconventional -- all four of us sleep in one room, and I don't sleep in the same bed as my husband -- but it functions, at least for now. The kids are good sleepers, and while some nights are tough, I'm not as exhausted as I was a few months ago. Now if I could just get those low-flow shower heads installed...

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