Monday, May 28, 2012

What Cookies Get You

If you perhaps felt a great disturbance in the Force recently, do not worry -- it was due to the fact that my brother and sister and I were all in the same town for the weekend. I believe our simultaneous presence also increased the frequency of solar flares and caused a two-headed calf to be born on a farm just out of town.

My mom came to visit for the weekend too. She got to nuzzle her grandchildren and take us out to eat, and we got to tell stories about how we raided her liquor closet growing up and didn't even bother filling up the bottles with water because we knew she would never notice the missing tequila. (Well, I didn't do any of that sort of thing. I was an angel growing up, unlike my brother and sister, a fact I would like to draw my mother's attention to in case she is thinking about revising her will.)

There was some serious cuteness involving children this weekend. Any hand-holding or spontaneous kissing among the cousins was immediately photographically documented. Many times, the level of cuteness could only be truly described using profanity, which is why at various times during the weekend, each of us found ourselves whispering to the other adults, "They are so! fucking! cute!"

Photographic proof of the cuteness is below, as shown by photos taken by my sister-in-law Margaret. Is there anything cuter than little kids holding hands?

Stella and her cousin at the gardens

Baby W and his cousin, on their way to feed the goats.
We also arranged for a professional photographer to document our family's cuteness, in case someday proof of this extraordinary cuteness was required, like when we renew our passports or something. For some reason, Baby W was quite cranky all through the photo shoot, which was unusual because he's normally pretty even tempered. Perhaps all the extra solar flares were getting on his nerves.

Anyway, I tried to cheer him up and buy his cooperation by stuffing him full of cookies. This approach didn't work at all, which shocked me because one of the fundamental underpinnings in the parent-child relationship is supposed to be the understanding that you can (temporarily) buy good behavior with sugar. In fact, I think it's written into the parent-child contract that as a parent I can expect at least 15 minutes improved behavior per cookie. Baby W flagrantly flouted the terms of our agreement. He will be hearing from my attorney.

See that cookie? And the lack of a smile?
I am so totally suing this shortie.
The great thing is that I have a little niece or nephew on the way, so the next time that I get together with my siblings, there will be one more little kid around. That is pretty much going to blow our cuteness quotient through the roof. I'm already looking forward to the next time we get together, which will hopefully happen when I go out to visit the new baby. But until that happens, I'll have to be satisfied with visiting the two-headed calf.

1 comment:

  1. I am having some serious cuteness withdrawl. I miss those cousins already.