Saturday, February 9, 2013

36 Hours in Paradise Remaining

With our return to Madison drawing near, the differences between Wisconsin and New Zealand seem bigger than ever. Here's a quick look at the differences between the two places:

WEATHER
Wisconsin: Go outside and you may die. It's that simple.
New Zealand: So beautiful that it is a continual struggle not for me to strip off every article of clothing and run around naked so as to expose the maximum amount of skin possible to the air.

GETTING KIDS READY TO GO OUTSIDE
Wisconsin: 40 minutes of getting wool socks, snow pants, boots, hats, mittens and coats on children.
New Zealand: You just...walk outside. Weird.

MENTAL HEALTH LEVEL
Wisconsin: About what you would picture given the fact that it gets dark at 2:30 in the afternoon and how poorly the Packers performed in the playoffs.
New Zealand: Also about what you would expect, given I have nothing I need to accomplish and can sit around throwing water balloons with the kids all day. And also it's 80 degrees.

FIELDS OF DEAD GRASS
Wisconsin: Yes, plenty.
New Zealand: Every goddamn thing in this country is bursting with life. Didn't you see Lord of the Rings? There was no dead grass in those movies, were there?

I know winter can be beautiful I'm it's own right, but I would prefer to admire it from a distance. A whole hemisphere of distance, if possible.

Here are two photos: See if you can guess which one is Wisconsin and which one is New Zealand. Blogger is being cranky and won't let me shrink the photos, so there's another big advantage to New Zealand: it's wider.




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